Defining Success on Your Own Terms: A Guide for Women Seeking Authentic Fulfillment

Success. It’s a word that carries a unique weight for each of us, often shaped by societal expectations, familial values, and personal dreams. For women, however, defining success can feel especially fraught, tangled in competing narratives about what we should prioritize—career, family, health, relationships, or personal growth. But here’s the truth: success is not one-size-fits-all, and it’s never too late to redefine it for yourself.

In this post, we’ll explore how women can break free from external definitions of success and create their own meaningful benchmarks for a fulfilling life.

The Cultural Push to "Have It All"

Society often tells women they must "have it all" to be successful—a high-powered career, a perfectly managed home, a thriving social life, and a picture-perfect Instagram feed. But studies suggest this definition of success often leads to burnout rather than joy.

A 2021 study published in Frontiers in Psychology found that women who pursue goals aligned with their intrinsic values—such as personal growth, relationships, or creative expression—experience significantly higher levels of well-being than those chasing extrinsic markers like wealth or status. This insight underscores the importance of tailoring your goals to your authentic self.

Crafting Your Own Definition of Success

So how can you begin to define success on your own terms? Here are three key steps to guide you.

1. Reflect on Your Values

True success aligns with your core values. Take some time to ask yourself:

• What do I value most in life?

• What activities make me feel alive, connected, and fulfilled?

• Which achievements or experiences have brought me lasting joy?

For example, let’s consider Emma, a corporate attorney who realized her idea of success wasn’t aligned with her reality. After years of chasing promotions, she took a sabbatical to travel and discovered her love for writing. For Emma, success became less about climbing the corporate ladder and more about creating a life that allowed her to express her creativity.

Reflection Tip: Journaling can be a powerful tool for clarifying your values. Ask yourself: “If no one else’s opinion mattered, what would I pursue?”

2. Set Goals Based on Joy, Not Obligation

Many women fall into the trap of setting goals they feel they should achieve rather than ones that truly light them up. Psychologist Carol Dweck’s research on mindset reveals that those who adopt a growth mindset—a belief in the power of learning and personal evolution—are better equipped to achieve meaningful success.

Instead of asking, “What will others think?” try asking, “What will make me proud of myself?”

For instance, consider Sarah, who left a six-figure tech job to start a nonprofit supporting underserved communities. Her decision wasn’t about prestige but about aligning her work with her purpose. “The day I stopped living for someone else’s approval was the day I started to succeed,” she shared.

3. Embrace Imperfection

Redefining success often means letting go of the idea that everything must be perfect. Brené Brown, renowned researcher and author, reminds us: “Perfectionism is not the same thing as striving to be your best. Perfectionism is the belief that if we do things perfectly, we can minimize or avoid the pain of blame, judgment, and shame.”

Instead of focusing on perfection, focus on progress. Celebrate small wins, and remember that failure is often the greatest teacher on the road to success.

The Role of Spiritual Practices in Redefining Success

Incorporating spiritual practices into your life can help you stay grounded as you redefine success. Practices like meditation, journaling, or working with tools such as tarot or the Akashic Records can deepen your self-awareness and clarify your path.

Spiritual practices remind us that success is not only about achieving external milestones but also about cultivating inner peace, joy, and connection to something greater than ourselves. They create space for reflection, helping us tune into our intuition and trust our own wisdom.

A New Vision for Success

Ultimately, defining success on your own terms means rejecting the idea that it must look a certain way. It’s about embracing your unique path and trusting that it’s enough. Success might look like starting a business, raising a family, or simply living with intention and joy. Whatever it is, it’s yours to define.

In the words of Maya Angelou: “Success is liking yourself, liking what you do, and liking how you do it.”

Take the Next Step

If you’re ready to create a life that aligns with your unique vision of success, I’d love to help. As a transformational coach, I work with women to uncover their values, overcome fears, and design a life that feels purposeful, meaningful, and joyful. Let’s work together to craft a version of success that’s authentically yours.

Reach out to me today, and let’s get started!